Bride’s side
The bride’s family traditionally presents the groom with shagun and items such as a kara, clothing, sweets, or a small kirpan, depending on household custom.
All ceremonies
Engagement
Mangni / Kurmai
ਮੰਗਣੀ / ਕੁੜਮਾਈ
Rings exchanged, often with an ardaas at the gurdwara.
Half day: morning ardaas, lunch, ring ceremony
The official engagement. Both families gather, an ardaas is performed (sometimes at a gurdwara, sometimes at home), rings are exchanged, and the wedding date is announced. Larger and more public than the roka. A granthi usually opens with a short prayer. In the traditional sequence the groom’s family feeds the bride milk and rice, while the bride’s family presents the groom with a kara and a small kirpan, a traditional Sikh gift. A red scarf is then placed on the groom’s shoulder with dried dates (chhuhare), and a grandparent feeds him the dates before food and drinks are enjoyed by all.
A little history
‘Kurmai’ literally means ‘becoming kurma’ (related families). In rural Punjab the kurmai was where the bride’s family would gift the groom seven items including a kara, ring, and shawl. Many families still follow this exact format.
Who attends
Immediate family + close cousins, mama-mami, chacha-chachi, nani-nana. Some families also invite a few close family friends.
Typical guests
40–80 people
Family roles
Bride’s side and groom’s side
The religious meaning stays the same, but household roles can differ. Use this as a conversation starter, not a rigid rulebook.
The groom’s family welcomes the bride with clothing, jewellery, sweets, or shagun and may lead the ring presentation or other family-specific engagement rituals.
Plan together: The ardaas, ring exchange, meal, and announcement of the wedding date belong to both families. Confirm the gift list so traditions are not duplicated.
What to plan
- Engagement rings (both)
- Seven shagun items for groom (kara, kurta, kashera, shawl, sweets, dry fruit, cash)
- Tikka & chunni for the bride’s family to receive
- Venue booking (if not at home)
- Small live singer or dholki optional
- Photographer for the ring exchange
- Catering / lunch for ~60
Samaan checklist
Ring boxes (both)7 shagun items in a thaalSaggi-phul or tikkaCoconut, cash, kirpan for ardaasDried dates (chhuhare) for the feeding ritualSmall kirpan (the bride’s family’s gift to the groom)
Tick these off as you shop with the free interactive samaan checklistAvoid these mistakes
- Don’t schedule it the same week as the wedding. Leave at least a month
- Confirm whether the gurdwara allows mangni (some do not, only roka)
- Brief the photographer on which moments to capture (ring exchange, ardaas, tikka)
For guests: what to know
- Semi-formal traditional dress, a happy but slightly formal family occasion.
- Rings are exchanged and the wedding date announced; a shagun for the couple is appropriate.
- If it's held at a Gurdwara there will be an ardaas. Cover your head.
Common questions
What is the Mangni / Kurmai ceremony in a Punjabi-Sikh wedding?
The official engagement. Both families gather, an ardaas is performed (sometimes at a gurdwara, sometimes at home), rings are exchanged, and the wedding date is announced. Larger and more public than the roka. A granthi usually opens with a short prayer. In the traditional sequence the groom’s family feeds the bride milk and rice, while the bride’s family presents the groom with a kara and a small kirpan, a traditional Sikh gift. A red scarf is then placed on the groom’s shoulder with dried dates (chhuhare), and a grandparent feeds him the dates before food and drinks are enjoyed by all.
Who attends the Mangni / Kurmai?
Immediate family + close cousins, mama-mami, chacha-chachi, nani-nana. Some families also invite a few close family friends.
How many guests come to a Mangni / Kurmai, and how long does it last?
Typically 40–80 people. Half day: morning ardaas, lunch, ring ceremony.
What are common mistakes to avoid at the Mangni / Kurmai?
Don’t schedule it the same week as the wedding. Leave at least a month Confirm whether the gurdwara allows mangni (some do not, only roka) Brief the photographer on which moments to capture (ring exchange, ardaas, tikka)
What do the bride’s side and groom’s side do for the Mangni / Kurmai?
Bride’s side: The bride’s family traditionally presents the groom with shagun and items such as a kara, clothing, sweets, or a small kirpan, depending on household custom. Groom’s side: The groom’s family welcomes the bride with clothing, jewellery, sweets, or shagun and may lead the ring presentation or other family-specific engagement rituals. Together: The ardaas, ring exchange, meal, and announcement of the wedding date belong to both families. Confirm the gift list so traditions are not duplicated.
What samaan do you need for the Mangni / Kurmai?
Key items: Ring boxes (both), 7 shagun items in a thaal, Saggi-phul or tikka, Coconut, cash, kirpan for ardaas, Dried dates (chhuhare) for the feeding ritual, Small kirpan (the bride’s family’s gift to the groom).
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