Bride’s side
Traditionally, the bride’s family performs the Roka for the groom: close relatives visit, apply the tilak where that is the family custom, and present mithai and shagun.
All ceremonies
Pre-Engagement
Roka / Thaka
ਰੋਕਾ / ਥਾਕਾ
The first formal step. Both families agree to the match.
1–2 hours, usually afternoon
Roka (from ‘rokna’, to stop) marks the end of the search for a partner. The bride’s father visits the groom’s home, applies a tilak on the groom’s forehead, and presents shagun: sweets, money, clothing. Traditionally the bride is not present. This is the bride’s family accepting the groom. The reverse, called Thaka or Chunni Chadana, is performed by the groom’s parents at the bride’s home: she is given jewellery, makeup, and the red dress for her wedding day, and a chunni is draped over her head as the groom’s family accepts her.
A little history
Historically roka was the binding commitment made in front of witnesses, long before any rings, dates, or invitations. In Punjabi villages it was sometimes called ‘thaka’ (to stop). The two-way nature (Roka by the bride’s family, Thaka/Chunni Chadana by the groom’s) is what distinguishes the Punjabi tradition from many other North Indian rituals. Both families formally accept the other’s child before anything else moves forward.
Who attends
Immediate family from both sides only: parents, siblings, grandparents, and a handful of close uncles/aunties. No friends, no extended cousins.
Typical guests
10–25 people
Family roles
Bride’s side and groom’s side
The religious meaning stays the same, but household roles can differ. Use this as a conversation starter, not a rigid rulebook.
The groom’s family makes the answering welcome for the bride, often called Thaka or combined with Chunni, bringing gifts and formally accepting her into the family.
Plan together: Many couples now hold one small gathering and exchange both welcomes together. Agree the names, gifts, and host home before inviting anyone.
What to plan
- Decide on host home or hall
- Box of mithai (kaju katli, ladoo, pinni)
- Dry fruits and seasonal fruit basket
- Shagun envelope from bride’s side
- Outfit (semi-formal, kurta or simple suit)
- A small gift for the groom (watch, kara, ring optional)
Samaan checklist
Mithai boxDry fruit thaalShagun envelopeCoconut + cash for ardaas
Tick these off as you shop with the free interactive samaan checklistAvoid these mistakes
- Don’t over-invite. Keep it intimate or it loses meaning
- Confirm dietary restrictions (some elders are strictly vegetarian)
- Photographer is optional. Most families do it on phones
Common questions
What is the Roka / Thaka ceremony in a Punjabi-Sikh wedding?
Roka (from ‘rokna’, to stop) marks the end of the search for a partner. The bride’s father visits the groom’s home, applies a tilak on the groom’s forehead, and presents shagun: sweets, money, clothing. Traditionally the bride is not present. This is the bride’s family accepting the groom. The reverse, called Thaka or Chunni Chadana, is performed by the groom’s parents at the bride’s home: she is given jewellery, makeup, and the red dress for her wedding day, and a chunni is draped over her head as the groom’s family accepts her.
Who attends the Roka / Thaka?
Immediate family from both sides only: parents, siblings, grandparents, and a handful of close uncles/aunties. No friends, no extended cousins.
How many guests come to a Roka / Thaka, and how long does it last?
Typically 10–25 people. 1–2 hours, usually afternoon.
What are common mistakes to avoid at the Roka / Thaka?
Don’t over-invite. Keep it intimate or it loses meaning Confirm dietary restrictions (some elders are strictly vegetarian) Photographer is optional. Most families do it on phones
What do the bride’s side and groom’s side do for the Roka / Thaka?
Bride’s side: Traditionally, the bride’s family performs the Roka for the groom: close relatives visit, apply the tilak where that is the family custom, and present mithai and shagun. Groom’s side: The groom’s family makes the answering welcome for the bride, often called Thaka or combined with Chunni, bringing gifts and formally accepting her into the family. Together: Many couples now hold one small gathering and exchange both welcomes together. Agree the names, gifts, and host home before inviting anyone.
What samaan do you need for the Roka / Thaka?
Key items: Mithai box, Dry fruit thaal, Shagun envelope, Coconut + cash for ardaas.
Ready to plan?
Want this pre-filled for you?
Every checklist on this page is pre-filled in our Excel template, with budget tracking, vendor guides, and a day-by-day timetable.
See the Kits